"A child he talked to you about everything but a teenager tell's nothing"
When you try to converse, he either gives clipped responses or ignites an argument that turns your home ground into a battleground.
You can learn to talk with your teenager considering the questions below.
- Why it happens?
- What can parents do?
WHY IT HAPPENS
-Young children tend to think in concrete, black-and-white terms, but many teenagers can perceive the gray areas of a matter. This is an important aspect of abstract thinking, and it helps a young person develop sound judgment, they've got this so called "Abstract Thinking".
-As a teenager they have this quest of independence, they quest to be mature and responsible adult. in a figurative sense, gradually move from the passenger seat to the driver’s seat and learn to navigate life’s treacherous roadways. Of course, some teenagers want more freedom than they should have; on the other hand, some parents grant less freedom than they could. The tug-of-war that may result can create considerable turmoil for parents and teens. “My parents try to micromanage every aspect of my life,”My personal experience". “If they don’t give me more freedom by the time I turn 18, I’m moving out!”
WHAT CAN PARENTS DO
- Casual Chats
- Keep it Brief
- Listen and be flexible
- Stay Calm
- Guide but don't dictate
Biblical Tips:
1.) Some parents have found that teenagers are more apt to open up while doing chores or while riding in the car, bonding moments, when they are side-by-side with a parent rather than face-to-face something we parent need to take advantage.
2.) You do not have to argue every issue to the bitter end. Instead, make your point . . . and then stop. Most of your message will be “heard” by your teenager later, when he’s alone and can ponder over what you've said. Give him a chance to do so.
3.) Listen carefully—without interrupting—so that you can get the full scope of the problem. When replying, be reasonable. If you rigidly adhere to rules, your teen will be tempted to look for loopholes. “This is when kids live two lives,” warns the book Staying Connected to Your Teenager. “The one in which they tell their parents what they want to hear and the one in which they do as they please once they are out of their parents’ sight.”
4.)“When we disagree, my mom takes offense at everything I say,” says a teen named Kari. “That just makes me upset, and the conversation snowballs into an argument.” Rather than overreact, say something that “mirrors” your teen’s feelings. For example, instead of saying, “That’s nothing to worry about!” say, “I can see how much this bothers you.”
5.) Your teen’s abstract thinking skills are like muscles that need to be developed. So when he faces a dilemma, do not do his “exercising” for him. As you discuss the matter, give him a chance to come up with some solutions of his own. Then, after you have brainstormed a few options, you could say: “Those are a few possibilities. Think them over for a day or two, and then we can get together again to talk about which solution you prefer and why.”
Biblical References
Deuteronomy 6:6, 7.
Proverbs 1:1-4.
Philippians 4:5.
Proverbs 10:19.
Hebrews 5:14
